Enduring Journey..

17 april 2008… happy birthday to me dearest daddy…a few more days before i fly back to sabah.. already been suffering from the ‘going back merana’ syndrome the past week.. really gonna eat like mad these few days…so, who ever meet me when im eating, plz forgive me.. had dinner with my new fren, thanx so much for the treat…so paiseh..goodness… the sad part was kena ‘tembak’ non-stop til i no face dee… sad sad sad… i lost my ’shooting’ skill dee… have to brush up the next time i come back..muz win back… neway, waiting eagerly for my dearest brother to come back..partly becoz of me and partly we wanna celebrate dad’s bday…miss bro so much…gonna be a celebration the whole weekend…so, its gonna be a mixture of sadness and happiness…

last nite was hurt so badly by someone i didnt expect would do such a thing after all the promises.. but i aint gonna let ANYONE hurt me… i wont and i will be very strong these few weeks… i NEED TO BE STRONG..gonna die for it…

11th april 2008… it was the last day of my elective…but it left me with a sad ending and was so

depressed the whole day…i should say frustration is a better word for it..without luck, i realised

nothing is fair and learnt very well that hardwork NEVER usually pays… arrh… thinking about

it just make me wana scream my lungs out but i dont see a point of doing it as nothing can be

done except for me to do a proper report of it… i was also very irritated when my intention of

asking a question properly was replied with harsh words which yet left another mark in me.. i

simply hate this type of feeling but for the past week, i have been treated like that by the same

person… i aint gonna forgive this part… it REALLY annoyed me to the max and with my

depressing mood the whole day, it doesnt help at all… i dont wish to jump to conclusion but if

this situation continue, dont blame me for screaming and i swear it will the end of a hopeful

beginning… i am not gona lose focus on unnecessary things or people anymore… buck up mei

ching..there’s a lot to do before u fly back….

1st april 2008… happy april fool day… i should have expect that people will play a prank on me… but when it was done by someone that i treasure so much, i was a bit irritated. i wasnt angry but i guess when i tried to joke back, people thought i was serious about the whole thing. haih… why lah? im ONLY human to be doing the same mah… it doesnt help when AGAIN someone cried because of what i said or did but this time i REALLY didnt know what did i do to cause the person so much pain. GOD, please guide me though this… i REALLY dont know what else i should do… i wish i have the answers to so many things in life, but i guess its just part of my life to go through all of these especially when im trying to get a grip of myself. i’ve been reminding myself not to dig out the past, dont worry about the future but do wats the best for the present..this motto has become part of my daily life….being so slack in my revision is also suffocating me… im REALLY starting to freak out already… i darent think of the worst as i cant take it… with so many things in my head, its REALLY killing me…im having this shortness of breath and i just wish my old sickness wouldnt attack me during my critical moments… there arent much time left.. im REALLY praying hard that i will have a peace of mind in these few weeks before my biggest day… i have a lot to do but little time left… good luck to me…