Enduring Journey..

my mood wasnt that good the past few days…i tot it is already improving until i saw a 10cents hole on the left back door of joel’s body… DARN AND DAMN… i dont know which idiot opened her door so wide and bang damn hard on joel’s body… it is hard coz the hole is so HUGE…i will NEVER FORGIVE u and i will hunt down the idiot tonite… i really cant take it… of coz its someone from the hostel… i’ve been trying hard not to bang on other ppl’s door but others just take the opportunity to hurt poor baby joel… DAMN U..i really mean it…

im currently feeling really FREAKING miserable in kk… i just dont know how to describe the feeling…its just too horrid just thinking of it… only ppl who stayed back like me will have the same feeling… or maybe its just me….if i had strike lottery i would have a better choice… and the feeling gets worse when i received msgs informing who and who is back in penang… arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

but the thing that really pissed me off is certain ppl who i feel like kicking… each time the sms comes, its just NOTHING good… always asking me to do this and that..it really gets on my nerve at this moment especially when im in a deep shitting mood… stop pretending that ur damn innocent or wat so ever… stop being so pathetic…  REALLY BUZZ OFF FROM MY LIFE AS FAR AS U CAN.. im really sick with ur damn lame msgs… so shitty… darn… im trying my very best to push sad things far far away from me.. i duno what’s going to happen when the second sem starts.. the only thing i cud do is to look forward for CNY… like what justin has said… i will NEVER feel ok as long as i dont  get back to my home.. that’s how bad shape im in… to those who dont wish to see the other side of me, just stay FAR FAR FAR away from me and dont try to step on my tail… my patience is not as good as last time anymore…

it was such a happy moment when i saw my parents walking to the custom check point… they were very happy to see me… so am i… miss all those parents luv for almost 5months dee… mum REALLY bought a lot of those jeruk and biscuit for me… hehe..and i got a box of choc too…kekeke… we checked into Tang Dynasty Hotel..it was way better than those mum and bro stayed  da last time in Shangri-la in terms of location and also price i think… After resting a while, i took mum and dad for dinner at Damai… they said the food is ok… since i had to study for VIVA, dad and mum asked me to go back to hostel to study and would be meeting me after VIVA…

so..VIVA didnt go well on my part… i was nervous and shivering… till i forgot most of the facts in my head… i lost my composure… and could only smile all the way.. Prof wasnt happy,,i know it… and he asked  me not so smile and be more serious in the coming sessions… i will be MORE PREPARED nex time… this time really like so messed up.. i just hope i didnt screw up my VIVA .or maybe i ALREADY did… and jeopardize everything??? arhhhhhhhh… just could pray hard at the moment… i darent really imagine much… SCARY and FREAKING…

neway, after VIVA,i met up with my parents… we stopped by at KF for lunch before heading to Kundasang.. the road was very bad… my parents were ’scolding’ and nagging along the way… they prefer not to go than to ‘waste’ the car… poor baby joel… i also heart broken ooo.. and the scariest moment was the time when i couldnt go up the ‘bloody’ slope at U merlin… no thanx to my coursemate for recommending such a creepy area to me…DARN… and lagi heart broken when the bottom part of the car was bang when going over the harm… arh… SO SORRY to baby joel… thank GOd that my parents are understanding and didnt blame me… Dad finally made the call and we checked into Fairy Garden Resort instead…it wasnt any grand or superb resort but we just didnt wana drive further up hill or wat so ever… just slept for the night and the cool air was nice… kekeke… the sabah type of genting… neway, Kudat trip is cancelled due to the road condition…

dad drove down the hill and i only took over when we reach the smooth road… we went back to my uni and i drove them around the area… my parents were pretty impressed with the uni….especially the beach and jetty…hehe…snap some photos near the front gate and the guards were staring at us like one kind…kakaka… then, we checked into Tang dynasty again.. and this time we got a bigger room.hehe… went shopping at CP and mum really shopped for some new sandals… for dinner, we went over to Gunter’s… ok ler..something new for my parents… and the menu also a bit different dee..this shows i havent been there for such a long time dee loh…the first for this sem..my god…hehehehe….im glad that dad says he’s full…hehehe…

the nex day, we shopped around KK town… goodnez, my parents can really stay so long at the Phillipine market and mum is really good at bargaining oo… hahaha… yaya, she needs to get something back for my cousins… went over to KK plaza and wisma Merdeka too… and Tong’s really have sales… spent over Rm200 there…. i  forgot to stop by at familia…need to get some things from there… or is it that i lost the shop???? hehehe… i memang trial and error every time ler…. i spent the most for the day… dad complained to bro that i took the opportunity to buy new clothes when he’s around… hehe… of course lah… im partly broke also mah… we went to damai again for dinner … im glad my parents enjoyed the food here… hehehe…then, i took them over to Yoyo..a MUST go place for me… hehe… i just want my parents to go to places that i go before or hang out often… didnt go to Little Italy thou coz my parents dont really fancy eating pasta and stuff…or ‘Oya’ as Japanese food is a NONO to my parents… i just realised i havent been to oya for a long time too… hmm…see lah….

neway, time passed really fast and it’s time to bid farewell… im glad when mum says dad enjoyed his trip as he was smiling all the way… i was holding back my tears when i sent my parents off… my parents knew that i very much wana go back with them and they realised how sad i was but wat to do… sigh… the airport was like a mad area just now… everything seems so kaios… when i reached back the hostel, i really couldnt take it anymore… everything seems so empty…tears just flow down… i REALLY miss home so much…. another 3 more months before i can be with my family again..and thats also for 9days if everything goes according to plan… its almost half a year since i last saw my bro… sigh…. i just hope to be strong for this few days… its the silence that’s killing me…

HAPPY FEET…yeah, thats the latest penguin cutie movie that me and my frens decided to watch instead of death note..and WE DID make the right choice… hehe.. the movie was FANTASTIC and i really mean it..the penguin ‘mumble’ is just so cute, adorable and evrything ler..and the movie just suit ppl like me who need to DESTRESS and need some laughter… i REALLY enjoy this movie and its one of the few animated movies that i enjoy watching in the cinema… BRAVO..my RM5 also worth it ler when it cheered me up…

okies.. bought some deco for joel dee… kinda broke ler..need time to FULLY deco it.. mum didnt wana bring my teddies..so have to wait till after cny when i go back to bring those cuties for joel.. then, have the penguin i bot also ler… then, fam and s.hui gave me a bulldog to keep my cds..THANX so much.. and my pooh pillow also in joel dee..

hm..so looking forward to meet my dearest papa and mama on sun… so glad they are coming..at least will have some papa and mama luv and hug hug for 5 days… hehe… and they bought biscuits and those jeruk for me… YEAH… PENANG FOOD… better than nothing.. keke.. gonna take them around with joel..arhh.. miss them so much…

neway…hehe… going to the crocodile farm tmr.. kekeke… okies..i should snap some picture dee ler.. so long din update any new photos dee.. will start with lots of joel’s photos oo… hehe… okies.. all the best to everyone.. and yeah, GO WATCH HAPPY FEET…hehehehe

wow…its been a month since i last went online….. really break my record eh… even i online during STPM oo.. kakakaka… anyway, the past month was like a hell..cant breathe and the exam syndrome really attack kaokao ler.. those no appetite kinda thingy, restless, sumbating lots of junk food to replace the proper food, coffee smell is a daily routine and i increased my ‘dose’.oopsie…the supplements dont need to say ler…it seems that everything would just do ANYTHING to stay awake through out the whole exam period… sleep also not peaceful, will suddenly woke up in the middle of the night and recalling all the cardio, respi, skin and musculo thingy… my eyes swollen till it seems like someone have box me right on my eye…

anyway, today finished our clinical exam… so damn lucky that i was in the first group.. kao lat… panic attack ler… but managed to calm myself and was smilling all the way when i met the profs…they must have think that im kinda sampat ler… thats the way i hide my fear ler… ish ish ish… NVM.. dont wana think about it dee but hope to improve and do better in the future…still have VIVA to go…but i dont think any of us gonna study… gona have a break this weekend and really cant wait to meet my parents… yippie… MISS THEM SO MUCH… gonna plan hard for their stay here… gona travel around in my dearest ‘joel’ and im gona impress my parents with some deco by this weekend.. hehe…

okies…compilation of things i typed when im super stressed during my exam week…

two weeks of exam but it seems that its ages… all the pressure, stress, depression and confusion… hmm… it seems the ‘exam syndrome’ is getting severe semester by semester.. the questions are tough for me, urm, maybe becoz i dont have such good memories to memorize ler… struggling all the way for every paper… some at least still can do but at the moment pretty freak out for my community and medicine paper… really crap to the max… and knowing that certain ppl who are so selfish to keep mum about the tips they know thou i always share with them what i know, really pissed me to the max and i really cant forgive them.. it takes time for the pain to heal ler… another depressing moment came when i knew that i FAILED so badly for my monthly test in cardiorespi and the nex day i would be sitting for the paper2… i was damn shock and speechless….really lost all my confidence and strength… only GOD knows how much i prayed to be strong and build up my strength… a big THANX to my dearest parents for their support and care… im really praying super hard that i will pass all my papers at the moment as i REALLY hope to be with my  parents next year for a year… sigh sigh sigh… promise to GAMBATEH EXTRA hard for another paper2 for skin & musculoskeletal, OSPE, OSCE and VIVA… will be looking forward to meet my parents the day before my VIVA… yeh… hope i could follow them back nia…sob sob…

to my dear good fren, dr D… it came a surprise that u sent me a msg from so far like 30minutes before my exam paper… i was in a state of dilemma when i received ur msg..kinda distracted as u know i always care for u and the rest more than myself especially of our more than 15 years of frenship that cant be replaced by anything… im glad that u are coping better and i pray that things will be better on ur part to… i hope those ppl who cause u pain and miseries will stay far far away… if not, i will bite them for u too.. hehehehehe…

hmm.. my heart still feels so bad or maybe i should say worried ler… sigh sigh sigh… just hope that everything will be ok…..