Enduring Journey..

okies… woke up at 12.30pm…that only becoz my mum came into my room and said..’hello…wat time dee u know.." of coz i dont… hehehe… really so nice sleeping on my comfy mattress and hugging my dear chao chao… kuakua.. without a car is really DAMN cacatic… dad had to fetch grandma for her check up.. it took the whole day.. really pity dad..okies..dun wana talk about it..not in favour of saying much about that part… dad knew i was kinda pissed at home dee.. i was supposed to go and do my new specs in the afternoon, but dad only came back about 5.30pm… hence, he dropped me and mum at prangin before going back to the hosp to take grandma back… coz my time is pretty limited… i need my glasses.. there was a new optician, man, he really sux..din even check my eyes properly… just hope that my power REALLY remain the same or i’m gonna kill him… the previous optician dee said that i can go blind if i dun take care of my eyes… then, i replaced those broken frame of my the other specs as i like that specs so much… the total cost me RM320… really burn a damn big hole… tmr wana go do my bushy hair dee..gona burn another hole.. i think this trip really cost my dad more than anything.. plus the air ticket, my food, my expenses and shopping for coming CNY, will come up to RM1000++ ..sometimes, i really feel so useless having to let my parents suffer so much becoz of me… sorry… i’m really sorry dad and mum… i promise that i will put my every effort in what ever i’m doing… i’m not gonna let u all down… i will push hard to achieve my dream… GOD, please guide me through…..

it was a long journey back. the flight was delayed for 20-30mintues… by the time i reached KLIA, it was already 3.30pm. the luggage system was kinda slow. hence, by the time my luggage was out, it was already 4.00pm. waited for the KLIA transit…reached tasik selatan around 4.50pm…climbed up the dozen staircase till i injured my muscles as i was carrying my 13.6kg luggage and another 5kg back pack which include my dear ‘husband’@laptop all the way…really felt like collapsing dee…but the thought of going home and meeting those ppl i miss so dearly kept me going… i managed to reach the pudu terminal at about 5.25pm and took the 5.30pm bus back to penang… i thought i could at least take a nap in the bus as i was dead tired but thanx to those inconsiderate and really damn brainless ppl sitting behind me…the bus was kinda empty and it was free sitting…so i decided to sit at the double sitter as i dun wana put my laptop on the floor of the bus… but these ‘ppl’ talked as if there are no other ppl in the bus..even the driver couldnt stand them and on his radio louder and louder..i on my mp3 ler…fine..then that idiot guy put his feet at the back of my seat and i could feel his damn toes on my lower body..yikes…then, he slept with his hand touching my head..i was so damn disgusted and shifted my position so many times… if i didnt keep my patience, i would have cursed him like hell… i’ve promised not to swear or say anything i shouldnt say anymore… i never experienced such a thing on all the bus journey that i went thru…. really kanasai eh… NVM..i was so energetic and excited when the bus was on the pg brigde..the driver somehow knew my excitement..i was actually sitting behind the driver… when we reach the bus terminal, i already saw my parents stading waiting for me… i was so happy…wana just rush down and hug them… i was the first to rush down the bus after i thank the driver..somehow the saying ‘thank you’ thing have become a habit ler… my luggage was somehow block, i just pull out and quickly walked towards my dad… hahaha… i was wearing my cap coz my hair was really damn bushy dee… my dad couldnt recognise me ler… hahaha… he was like…eh… gosh, i thought i’m the only one dieting, mana tau, my mum also lost some weight… i just hope she is all rite… then, went to eat my fave tomyam… my tummy was shouting for mercy to be fed dee…yummy… so coincidence… met the person i wana meet so much..my goodie  and best fren… justin… hahaha.. he is wearing specs now but i can still recognise him..so.. PURPOSELY shouted his name so loud..haha…he was shocked so was his mum…sorry eh… hehehe… he couldnt recognise me… muahahahahaha… lets just see how many ppl cant recognize me… muahahahahaha…. he said he would have shouted my name first if he did recognise me… hehe…

then headed back to my home sweet home… my room is still messy as usual…hehehehe…just dumped my luggage aside, took my bath and talked to my parents… hug them so tight… then, my parents went to bed… so decided to go online and checked my things… it was shruggs… i tot i could talk to jason after so long i didnt hear from him..instead, his words really hit me hard… i was DAMN HURT and cried in front of my monitor… at first it was louis, now it’s jason… the godbros that i luv so dearly… great… a wonderful start to my break… nah, i aint gonna let u guys ruin it… i need to enjoy to the max…

u mite be normal
u mite be aware
u mite be more mature
u mite be more sensible
i am glad..im thankful
but then…
i know myself more than anybody else
i know what i should do
i was too stressful
i just need a break
i just need lots of rest
i just need to do the things i NEED to do
i NEED to meet some ppl that i miss so much
i NEED to talk to ppl i NEED to talk to
i have commitments
i have promises to fulfill
i WILL CERTAINLY seek help if i need to
i HATE the things u said about me
i know u wan the best for me too
but u dont have to say those things that i told u previously
if i am not SENSITIVE
i wouldnt have cared
i wouldnt have worried
i wouldnt have understood
i wouldnt wana know anything
i wouldnt wana bother anything
if u dislike me so much
just say it.. just tell me straight…
i wouldnt bother u anymore
life would be so much easier not to bother
life would be so much easier not to care
life would be so much easier not to understand
life would be so much easier not to know anything
life is obviously SIMPLE to be STUPID, DEAF n DUMB…

i was shocked…
i was speechless…
when i got to know some really BIG NEWS
how could ppl be like that
that brings be back to the question
the question that im still searching for answers…

is it so easy to be in a relationship?
is it so easy to fall in love?
is it so easy just to take actions without caring about the consequences?
is is so easy to dump others?
is it so easy to say u love him/her one moment?
and ask for a breakup or dump someone just like that…..
dont ever start if u’re not firm,
dont ever said u love someone when u duno the meaning of love
dont ever regret ur actions or words
it will NEVER mend the broken heart
it will NEVER cure the pain
it will NEVER be forgiven
what is true love anyway?????
i totally felt so disgusted…
i feel so nauseated….
how could this be happening….

i cant believe that there’s actually a slut in front of me…
i cant believe that there’s a donkey in front of me too..
i dont know how i can stand this
i have been keeping my ears and eyes shut when she did this to my godbro..
now, she’s doing the same thing to another fren…..
i know i should watch my language…
i know i should mind my own business…
i know i should not care about anything…
but i totally felt so bad for the other party
who had to suffer and go thru all the pain
due to others’ selfishness’…
dont they ever care about others’ feelings…
i am really disappointed…
really really disappointed…..

why are stupid and brainless guys so blind…
now i realised that my bro is the best guy in this world…
he knows how to differentiate between gals who are real and ‘fake’…
he knows who is pretty..inside and outside…
he knows the character of certain ppl that i dont…
after what ever i heard… i miss my bro even more…
i wish guys are like him…
mature and know how to think..
know how to use their brain PROPERLY…
arhh.really dont know what else to say…
just hope GOD will bless those ‘victims’ of this cruel LOVE…
im still doubtful of TRUE love….
may those who hurt others, be hurt in return…

it wasnt supposed to be like that…
i hate to plan for hols
it hardly work on my part…
arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
guang fell from the stairs on fri
i was still so blur until sunday
he only told me that after i reconfirmed the trip
kinda pissed also ler…
should have told me earlier
i was made like a fool…
i was so depressed for the whole weekend dee
thought by going labuan will ease some pain
but the trip has to be CANCELLED
i wouldnt go with other group coz someone i dislike is going..
i dun wana my mood to be further destroyed…
luckily i didnt pack yet..
tears were actually rolling down dee…
my heart was aching so badly dee…
arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
why is this happening to me…
i was a bit glad that marv mite change his ticket
im praying hard THIS really work
or my heart will be squashed…..
is it too much to ask???

i need a hug so badly…
i need ur comfort…
i need ur care…
i need ur love…
i need to hear ur voice…
i wish u are here…
i wish i could talk to u…
i wish i could see u…
i wish i dont have to be so hurt…
I NEED U

tears in heaven

exam was indeed horrid…did so many stupid and crazy mistakes that i shouldnt do.. really felt like a donkey. the only thing that horrifies is the thought of having to re-sit the nex semester after our sem 2…which means i wont have hols then… bubye to my so-called 2 months break… really cant believe that i did such a thing for this sem… sometimes im doubtful whether i can cope with the upcoming stress and workload. i promise that no matter how tough life will be, i wouldnt give up… nevertheless, im really getting so weak that only GOD knows how im pushing myself thru.. my breathlessness attack me the whole week..but i couldnt stop or slow down… my eyes are swollen and i really think the power has increased… my hair is really so bushy like the last time… and worse was, my migraine attacked me on my most critical paper and i really couldnt think much at that time.. really felt like screaming… kadazan was like OMG.. i dont understand all the jugants… my ‘mongingia’(lecturer) will sure pengsan reading my answers o… wat to do.. so stupiak mer… most of the medic students just walked out after an hour… really couldnt torture our brain as we had the tough paper after that… i couldnt recall my form 6 topics… really berkulat dee… mum tried to comfort me and asked me to go enjoy myself… gonna have 10 days break before my VIVA on 28th.. then flying back to klia on 29th.. just hope that there is no delay in the flight as i need to take a bus back to my dear home… (langadon om guminavo oku panganakan ku)miss and love my family so much… anyway, hope that i will have a nice trip to labuan…hehe…got so many intersting stories to tell my mum… hahahahahahahahaha…..  aint gona study till like… 2/3 days before VIVA…  gona shop in KK when i return from labuan as well… hehe… really gona burn sume biggy hole in my pocket…ouchie… see ya soon to those returning from ur respective unis… take care ppl… eating and movie marathon will begin for me once i return…anyone who wana join along, so let me know… muahahhahahahahahahahahah